I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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