I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
