My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
i think my cat just said my name.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
