i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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