I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
