Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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