I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
