He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
