You work out of a Hotel?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
accomplished twins. life is a go
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
