I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
