I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
