alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Still dying that you shit outside
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
