I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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