I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
