He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
