he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
