he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
