when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
