you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
