i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It's blow job season.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We're too hungover to prance.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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