I wish I only lived at night.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
