I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
