But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
