Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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