We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
