how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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