she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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