Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
