How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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