Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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