You're completely useless in the revolution.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
