i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
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