doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i dont even know how to be here
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
