I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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