if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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