we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
