Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
