You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
