I just gift wrapped bread.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
There's always time for handjobs
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
