I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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