just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
