i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i think my tv is drunk
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
