just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
