At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize