Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Randomize
