I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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