I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
