Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
