By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
