This girl is more easily done than said...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
