My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
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